Rules of the Ride

OK, so you’ve been sitting around, looking at your beast of an SUV that gets 10 miles to a gallon, 11 highway, and you say to yourself, “Man, I would love to own a HOG.” (AKA a Harley.) You know you would love the gas mileage, and want to join the community that is motorcycle riders. First off there are a few things you should know.

Know #1-Don’t get a Harley; Harleys are loud, obnoxious, and show the true personality of the rider. Harley riders are people that are also loud, obnoxious and just desire attention. Now, if that is you, then by all means, no one’s gonna stop you. Just realize that people that ride quiet bikes will know your true character.

Know #2-Now this is the most important one, “The Wave.” Now as I said before, riding a bike is like joining a community, not quite a cult, but close. Know this: “The Wave” is an honor held only from one motorcycle to another. When passing opposite directions, “The Wave” is not only suggested, but required, unless you want to look like a tool. Rather than explain how to do “The Wave,” I can explain how NOT to do “The Wave.”

DO NOT wave like a princess. EVER. Raising your hand and flicking your wrist in order to wave is just inappropriate. You bought a bike to look tough, not like a girl. There are two heights acceptable for “The Wave.” Handlebar height, and with your left arm totally extended below your waist. Now if you have a set of apehangers, then handlebar height is not acceptable, but you probably don’t care about “The Wave” anyway.

“The Wave” is less of an actual wave, and more of a pointing. When performing “The Wave” simply extend a few fingers, maybe even your thumb,  and hold it when there is an oncoming motorcycle. Then, resume riding. But always be on the lookout for another “Wave opportunity.”

There are only a few times when “The Wave” is not possible. For example, if you are coming to a stop, and must have your left hand on the clutch, it would be unintelligent and unsafe to even attempt “The Wave.” In this case, “The Nod” is acceptable.

Any man that is a man knows “The Nod.” “The Nod” is known beyond just motorcycles. It says “Yo what’s up?” without actually saying anything. Now when carrying out “The Nod” be sure it is a downward nod, NOT upward. An upward nod will make you look like a tool, and we don’t want that. Only owners of crotch-rockets will accept the up-nod, and you can draw your own conclusion to that statement.

Now, the final, and MOST IMPORTANT rule of “The Wave” is to never, EVER, ever execute “The Wave” to a scooter. Scooters are NOT motorcycles. If a vehicle has two wheels and cannot get above 30 mph, sorry. Yes, they can be fun, but are not considered to be a motorcycle. “The Wave” is reserved for motorcycles ONLY.

Have you ever heard of or noticed “The Wave?” If so, does the sense of community it creates make you desire to be a motorcycle owner?

If a vehicle has two wheels and cannot get above 45 mph, sorr”The way=vey.

One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Weej on October 5, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    So my dad just got a Harley and I’ve never found him to be a loud obnoxious person. In other words I take offense to this. As for your notes on “The Wave” even though I don’t own a bike from what I’ve heard and seen your words seem dead on.


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